


My life would suck (without you)

by NaganSavior



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Getting Together, Injury, Living Together, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Oblivious Rick Grimes, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Rick, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 17,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaganSavior/pseuds/NaganSavior
Summary: After the end of the Whisperer's war, Negan gets banished from Alexandria, unaware that a certain ex Sheriff's Deputy ,won't let him suffer all alone...
Relationships: Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 20
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Negan woke up to the sound of water dripping from the roof. He sighed miserably and sat up from his second-hand sleeping bag. It was raining a lot outside and the roof of the old cabin he had taken shelter in, had issues, to say the least. The wind was coming through and now water as well. He didn't have anything in order to fix it. He stared at the water as it bounced to the wooden floor and laid back down. Felt his eyes tearing up. Had only been some days that they had banished him from Alexandria and he was an emotional rollercoaster. Didn't know where else he could go. Who knows, maybe one day it would just get overflown and he would drown in his sleep or something. 

He tried to find some warmth, but it was hard. Negan shivered and sobbed hard. Knew he had done much shit in his life but was that really gonna be his ending? To die all alone in that cabin? He had supplies that could last only for some days. After that, what? He had a horse that they had tolerated him to take because otherwise, you'd have to walk, but other than that he was helpless. What gave him some comfort was knowing that the Whisperers were gone. They wouldn't be harming anyone again. At least he had done something good in his poor excuse of a life. 

Had no one to take care of him or even give a damn. Truth be told he never did. Lucille was disappointed by his behavior and had eventually died, the Saviors stayed with him out of fear, Rick...Rick Grimes was the guy responsible for his current sufferings. Not that he hadn't suffered as well as he had broken his leg and he never recovered from it. Was forced to walk with a crutch for the rest of his life. Negan might was mostly healthy, but didn't have what Rick did. A community, friends, family...all he had was himself and he hated being in his self's presence. Had let down himself and everyone else. 

Banishing him was the last blow. Had tried hard to not break down in tears and plead to stay. He doubted that they would show him understanding though. Would always be the guy that had enslaved them and killed brutally two of their best friends. Now he felt like he was nothing but a beggar. If there were leftovers or something, he would gladly take them. Knew that the only one responsible though was himself. He let out some sniffles and looked at the water that was still falling from the roof. It had now made a puddle. It was raining a lot outside. He got the knife he had from his back pocket and stared at it. That was his only protection from the Walkers or whatever psycho might intrude his new "home".

As he tried to relax and get some sleep, despite the coldness and the roof that was leaking, he heard a knock on the wooden door. His eyes shot at the door as he felt anxiety growing inside of him. Who could that be? He thought to stay quiet so they would leave, whoever was knocking. The knock repeated though more urgently. Negan stood up and held the knife tightly in his grip. He opened the door slowly and got ready to stab whoever was on the other side. His eyes widened as he saw Rick standing there with his crutch and a bag on his shoulder. 

"Thank you for leaving me out in the rain..." Rick drawled as he eyed him up and down. His tone was criticizing but his blue eyes seemed to soften as he eyed Negan. "May I come in?" 

Negan was looking at him dumbfounded. He was all alone, without anyone else from Alexandria. Finally snapped out of it and let him in to not get sick from the rain. 

"It is raining a lot..." Rick mumbled, mostly to himself. 

"I...-" Negan started "What are you doing here? Most importantly, how you knew where to find me?" he demanded as he crossed his arms above his chest. 

Rick turned to look at him as he supported himself from the crutch. 

"Had Michonne follow you of course" Rick said with a shrug. 

"Why?" Negan questioned "Was that the point of getting banished, to never see me again?"

"You got banished from Alexandria. Although, I didn't spend so many years feeding you so that you would die now. You were my business from the start and you're now as well"

Negan frowned at what Rick was saying. Why would he care if he stayed alive or not? 

"Since you seem confused, let me explain" Rick said "it means that I'll be staying with you and not only that but we are moving to a new house tomorrow that the rain will stop. Michonne has taken care of it and it has everything we can possibly need. Now would you offer me a seat?" he added as there was no chair in that room. "My leg tends to get worse with the rain..."

Negan swallowed hard but moved to bring him one chair. He thought that he was dreaming or something. Maybe he was and when he would wake up, none of this would be real. Because there was no way that Rick Grimes, the same person that had slit his throat, gave a damn if he lived or died.


	2. Chapter 2

Negan sat on a chair as well, as the rain continued dripping from the roof. 

Rick didn't seem to notice his staring and got a bottle of water from his backpack as he took some sips. 

"Look-" Negan started, after some moments of silence "with all due respect, but you should leave. Shouldn't be out here in your condition"

Rick ignored him though and pulled his own sleeping bag, out. He got up with the help of his crutch and left it close to Negan's. Negan was looking at him dumbfounded as he returned to his chair. 

"You are gonna like the new home, I'm sure of it..." he said, again like he was trying to reassure himself more than Negan. 

"Did you hear me?" Negan demanded to know "I said that you should leave"

Rick's eyes narrowed though. 

"...and I ignored you. If you have anything else that you'd like to talk about, we can"

"No, I don't have anything to say since you ignored my one and only request" Negan said grumpily. Rick should be laying down in bed in his condition. Not running off from one abandoned house to the other and especially not with him. 

"What condition Negan?" Rick asked him, quite defensively "I'm fine"

"Yeah, of course you are..." Negan replied as he rolled his eyes at Rick's stubbornness. 

"I am very well. Never been better" he said simply "can't say the same about this cabin, but it's one night only. It will pass"

Negan didn't seem to share his optimism but didn't comment on it further. 

\---

The night rolled in and the intensity of the rain decreased. Rick had tried to spark conversation during the day, but Negan's answers were quite short and made his displeasure noticeable that he wasn't leaving. Didn't let himself get disheartened though. That cabin sucked, either way, so he could get Negan's frustrations. He had thought that he would be living there permanently. Couldn't let him suffer though. Not after helping them beat the Whisperers. 

Rick's leg situation had become worse. Siddiq had warned him that it was possible to lose his ability to walk if he continued standing up and pressuring his leg. His nerves had been damaged and not only that but it was spreading to his other leg as well. Had nights where he would wake up all sweaty and sobbing hard from the pain. Made Siddiq promise that he wouldn't tell anyone though and he would be doing the same. Negan didn't need to know. Wanted to help him and he would, no matter his protests, no matter if he didn't like him or even that he was the one responsible that he might never walk again in the near future. He wasn't disabled just yet though or a lost cause. 

His past had shown to him, that the Apocalypse was extra hard to whoever was crippled or had a disability. He would have to depend on others to take care of him and no more going outside. Had cried so much when Siddiq had said it to him. He was in denial but as the days and weeks were going by, it was becoming more and more difficult for him. Rick walked to the other room as Negan was getting ready for bed, to take a painkiller. He didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night to terrible pain, with Negan right next to him. He would pretend that he was ok until Negan was in safety and could care for himself, without having to be there for him.

Even if that was the last thing he would be doing while able to be standing up.


	3. Chapter 3

Rick walked back to Negan after taking the painkiller and saw that he'd already laid down in his sleeping bag. Negan's eyes were on him like he expected him to collapse at any moment. He tried his hardest to walk with ease though. Laying down to his own sleeping bag would be challenging with his legs situation but he didn't want Negan to see that he was struggling. Left the crutch to one chair and leaned down to get to his sleeping bag. 

Wanted to sob out from the pain but he held it. His eyes got a bit watery but overall he took it like a champ as Negan would say if he knew how bad his situation was, in reality. Maybe he would even be pleased that he was suffering. But pleased or not, Rick wanted to help him, cause that's why he'd been keeping him alive either way. If Negan died, Carl's last wants would be ruined in his mind. 

He finally managed to get comfortable enough and looked at the ceiling which thankfully had stopped leaking in water. Felt Negan's eyes on him and turned his head to face him. 

"Are you cold?" Negan mumbled, unsure of what else to say. 

"No, I'm ok" Rick replied quietly "tomorrow when we will go to that house, it will have blankets, covers, and real beds"

Negan felt like it was a dream that this house existed and they would be living in it. 

"Won't Judith be missing you?" Negan questioned as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

"I explained to her why I was leaving and she has Michonne, Daryl...so many people. Plus I have taken a walkie-talkie with me so we'll be in touch..." Rick was trying hard to be brave for Judith's sake as well. Didn't know how she would react to see him in a wheelchair, the crutch was not that rough for her to see him with. He didn't want her to think that her Dad was incapable, but he was. Most times he was in big pain and just wanted to stay in bed all day long. 

"Goodnight Negan" Rick said as Negan wasn't talking. Seemingly lost in his own thoughts. He was in need to rest either way. Riding a horse in the rain had been extra hard on him despite not required to use his feet. Their horses were very well trained. 

"Night Rick..." Negan replied as he looked at the other man while he was closing his eyes. The cabin had a low lighting but Rick looked very pale now that he was seeing him from up close. Plus had dark circles under his eyes. Didn't think that fine was the word that described him, as Rick wanted him to believe. It made no sense to him that he had left the comforts of his home, to be laying at a cold cabin with a damaged roof, by his side, the same guy that he had imprisoned for so long. 

He let out a sigh and turned his back on Rick trying to create warmth within the sleeping bag. Really wished that this house that Rick had told him about, was for real. He'd give anything for a warm bath right now. Closed his eyes as well to sleep though. 

\---

Negan woke up in the middle of the night to Rick letting out heavy breaths. He sat up a bit and saw that he had sweat on his forehead. When he'd been saying that he is not well... 

"Rick" he whispered,but Rick just flinched, without waking up. He seemed distressed to him. Thought to not wake him up. Moved his sleeping bag close to his though and after a bit of hesitation, he held his hand in his. It was cold to the touch. Negan eyed him with worry. Shouldn't have left from Alexandria. But that prick, he just never listened to someone out and especially not him. What if he had something serious like sickness and needed medical attention? He could offer him practically nothing. 

Rubbed his hand in his and helped to at least warm it up. Wanted very much to wake him up right now and take him back to Alexandria either he wanted to or not. Shouldn't endanger himself like that. Rick seemed to relax a bit with his touch. He was still breathing heavily though like he was in pain. Negan felt like he would be crossing a line, but thought that Rick would feel better if he was warmer. He wrapped his arm around him and Rick moved unconsciously closer to him, as far as the sleeping bags allowed at least. 

"Shh, shh" Negan whispered as he rocked him gently. That was the closest he had been to someone after so many years. Like he had the plague or something, he'd been feeling. Was very touch starved. Just wished that Rick wouldn't be mad that he had taken such initiative. Closed his eyes again in order to get some sleep for whatever hours were left till morning.


	4. Chapter 4

Rick blinked his eyes and saw an arm wrapped around him. Negan's arm specifically. His eyes widened and tried to think of what could have caused such a reaction from Negan. Could it be that he had seen something weird from him during the night? Felt his eyes watering up as he didn't want Negan to be comforting him. They didn't have this relationship and he didn't deserve to get comforted. Had done so many mistakes as well, it wasn't only Negan's fault.

There was nothing that could ease his pain now, so hugging him was definitely out of boundaries. He got away from his touch and stood up as fast as he could. If Negan knew how much he was hurting, who knows what he would be doing to him. It's not like that he could defend himself as it was, that well, but maybe Negan would want to give him payback for all he'd been through as he couldn't back at Alexandria and now he was weaker than ever before. 

Negan woke up as well and saw Rick picking up his sleeping bag with a sore expression and putting it in his backpack. 

"Good morning Rick" he said, eyeing Rick's mood "What's up with the packing up? Why don't you lay down for a bit more?"

"I'm well-rested" Rick replied as he averted his eyes. He was clearly lying but Negan thought to let it pass. Sooner or later he would be making him say everything though. 

Negan got up from his sleeping bag as well and made it into a roll. 

"You know..." Negan drawled "it's ok to admit when we are not feeling well..."

Rick looked at him in bitterness. He would be vulnerable if he did say it and admitted how hard it was for him to cope. 

"I'm fine. Don't know what you're talking about. Since you're up as well, let's go. We have a long road ahead of us" he said as he grabbed his crutch. 

Negan sighed but gave him a small nod. Was excited to see that new house but Rick was suffering and keeping mum about it. Like that would solve anything. He looked around at that cabin once more and followed Rick out of the door wishing that this would be a new chapter in his life. 

They got to their horses and Negan was on stand by to help Rick if needed to get on but he managed it and positioned his crutch as well. He climbed up to his own horse and Rick got a map out to check the route. It was about two hours ride to get there. Saw Negan staring at him intensely but decided to ignore it. 

"Let's go..." Rick mumbled to him weakly and Negan just nodded. When he was locked up, they were definitely talking more to each other than now. 

\---

The ride to their new home was quiet and they stopped only to drink some water. Negan couldn't believe what he was seeing as Rick announced that this would be their new house. It was wooden, with two storeys and seemed in very good condition. There was a car waiting for them outside with the keys on the engine and a paper message. 

"Take care Rick. We will be in touch, you know that you can't hide from me (or Judith). I'll take good care of her. The house is very well stocked but anything you need, you tell me. Love, Michonne"

Rick smiled a bit at the message. This woman was amazing. Didn't know what he would do and all of them really, without her. 

He looked at Negan who was amazed by the house. 

"Michonne had found it and it's her getaway place. Has fixed it from the start. We will be very comfortable here" Rick said to him. 

Felt like a dream that this was where they would be staying. It could easily pass like a house from pre-Apocalypse. 

Rick got down from his horse and tied it to a tree. He would be taking care of them as well. They did a long ride. Negan stayed on his and watched Rick as he walked with his crutch towards the house's entrance. He looked sullen once again. 

They were definitely having this talk despite Rick's protests that he was "fine". He wouldn't be staying with someone who couldn't even admit that he had a problem. Even if Rick had good intentions, he just couldn't stay with him when he wasn't open about what was going on. 


	5. Chapter 5

Negan was very impressed with the house. It had indeed everything they could possibly need. Nothing close to what he had found. Didn't know how long it would last with Rick's stubbornness but he couldn't deny that it was a great place to be staying. Michonne had stocked them up with food and Negan was already aching to get to cook. 

"Go do whatever you need and I'll make us dinner" he suggested. 

Rick looked surprised that he would willingly be doing something for him. 

"Don't poison it..." he mumbled like Negan was the bad witch or something. 

Negan let out a snort. 

"Poison doesn't go with the fine tastes of my Spaghetti, it will ruin them..." he said grumpily and caught Rick holding himself to not smile a bit. Had a thing for Spaghetti for so many years now. He never got to taste them though. Looked like it was time to do that as well. 

"Alright...I'm going to feed the horses" he announced and Negan shook his head as Rick walked away with the help of the crutch. One would think that he'd be able to walk without the crutch after all this time, but he continued to need it. Negan had heard that Rick had been doing physiotherapy. Wasn't that supposed to help? 

He sighed to himself as he started making them Spaghetti with red sauce. Wished that Rick would find it tasty. At Alexandria and with everything that had happened with the Whisperers, he didn't get the chance to cook, not even once. Although he doubted that they'd be letting him do so. He just ached to be helpful again, though. 

About one hour later the dinner was ready and Negan let out a moan as he tasted the sauce. He still had it in him as it seemed. Opened the front door of the house and saw Rick petting his horse, the one they'd let him burrow at least. He was a boy but hadn't named him yet. With all that he'd been going through, the last he'd thought was about naming the horse but now that he was more relaxed, he'd be finding one. Rick was very gentle though. He seemed to love them by how he was treating them. Negan smiled a bit to himself and called him to come for dinner. 

Rick walked to the kitchen hesitantly and saw that Negan had served them two big dishes of Spaghetti. It smelled and looked appetizing for sure. Negan sat down on a chair and looked up at Rick. 

"Sit down Rick, don't bite..." he said to him. 

Rick rolled his eyes a bit and sat opposite from Negan. He took a bite and it was...so good, to his surprise. Wouldn't admit it out loud though. 

"Do you like them?" Negan questioned. 

"They are good..." Rick said trying to appear indifferent but he actually liked it a lot. 

They ate mostly in silence and Negan was happy to see that Rick at least ate his whole portion. 

Rick stood up with his crutch's help and glared at Negan as he threw water over the dishes to remove the residues. 

"Look erm- there is a big bedroom upstairs" Rick started "go sleep there and I'll sleep on the couch. It transforms into a bed" he said as he saw that Negan was about to protest. 

"Are you sure?" he questioned. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine here" Rick replied. He couldn't walk up the stairs either way. "I'll go take a shower" he announced. Negan began opening up the couch for him, to at least not have to do it himself. 

"Ok" Negan responded, simply. 

Rick walked to the bathroom and as he closed the door behind him, he let tears roll down his cheeks. Ten minutes now he was in big pain. He took deep breaths to calm himself down. Thankfully Negan had opened up the couch for him because he wouldn't be able to do so. 

Rested his head against the door and thought of why life had to be so unfair. After everything he'd been through, why he had to suffer so much, once again? He removed his jeans and looked down at his leg. There was atrophy to his leg where Negan had broken it and it looked as bad as it felt. Tried to calm himself down and think that it would be better after his bath. Warm water usually helped. 

Negan was looking for bedsheets to put on to the couch that Rick would be sleeping. He saw some closets at the end of the corridor. Maybe they'd have bedsheets. He walked to them when suddenly he heard muffled cries behind a closed door, which he bet was the bathroom. 

He knocked on the door urgently. 

"Rick, come out" he demanded. The noise stopped from the inside, but only because he'd heard him crying. 

"Rick, I won't repeat myself" Negan said decisively. He had to know what was going on at last. The door opened and he saw a teared up Rick, who was supporting himself from the door's frame. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Negan asked as he frowned "...and don't you dare say "nothing".


	6. Chapter 6

"I am just upset..." Rick said weakly as he walked to the couch. Negan sat down as well and his frown deepened. 

"The shower made you upset? Most of the time, humans feel relaxed after a bath. Getting upset on the other hand, first time I'm hearing it. Who are you trying to fool, I seriously don't know.If you continue lying though, I'm out of here" he said as he was getting angry "you wanted to be with me. Not vice versa. Better start explaining"

Rick realized that he didn't have much of a choice anymore. Should have kept himself and not be crying while Negan was awake. He took a trembling breath and stood up with the help of the crutch. Grabbed the waistband of his pajama pants and pulled them down. 

Negan's eyes went from confused to shocked. His leg looked...horribly. The one he'd broken so many years ago. 

"Rick just...what the hell? What was physiotherapy for?" Negan demanded to know as he was in shock. 

Rick sat back down with his leg exposed and was on the verge of crying again. 

"It didn't help. Thought that it would get fixed with time but it got worse. So much worse. The nerves have died and Siddiq told me lately that it is spreading to my "good leg" as well" Rick sobbed out "I'm gonna become disabled in the near future... most likely"

"Why the hell didn't you say something?!" Negan said in anger "you shouldn't have been laying down to sleep at a damn sleeping bag on the floor"

"You caused me to be like that!" Rick snapped at him "but wanted to help you... How more pathetic can I get?"

Negan's lips turned to a straight line like he did when he was mad at him. 

"Don't know Rick, you tell me. So, let's see... You don't trust me but yet you wanted to "save me" from my misery. I think the pain has messed up your head apart from your leg" Negan said to him coldly "Should have left me all alone. Radio Michonne to come to get you. Right. Now."

"I won't radio her" Rick said to him with his usual stubbornness. 

"Ok then. I'll take you back myself" he said as he stood up and walked to him threateningly. 

"You can't make me do something I don't want to" Rick told him as he tried to stand his ground. Negan's eyes narrowed at him though. 

"Then you obviously don't know me at all" he said and picked up Rick, fireman style. 

He got outside as he walked Rick to the car, depositing him to the passenger's side and closed the door before he could get out. 

Rick sighed in misery as Negan got behind the steering wheel and turned on the engine. 

"Just...hear me out" Rick pleaded him. 

Negan frowned and turned off the engine with hesitation. 

"Don't take me back. I promise that I won't cry again and bother you in any way..." 

"Yeah, sure. That's the problem, to not bother me. Of course. I'm so stupid that I didn't think of that. What do you want from me, Rick? My company? Obviously not. You hate me and probably blame me every single day for what you're going through. That you're in pain, you didn't want to say it. Tell me what the hell you want at last. Go back to your home so that you'll have the proper care. I am just your ex-prisoner. That "role" you'd been playing though can drive me mad"

Rick swallowed hard. He knew that Negan was right to be angry but he just didn't know how to cope. 

"You are gonna sleep and tomorrow, you and I will have a very serious talk. Don't want to pressure you more right now since you are distressed but I won't be playing your games" Negan decided "Either you'll leave or I"

Rick stared out of the window, feeling lost. Negan got out and opened the door on his side. Picked him up again because the crutch was left in the house. He got him back inside and looked upstairs. Rick should be laying in a bed. Before Rick could protest he started walking up the stairs and got him to the bedroom which thankfully had fresh bedsheets already. Placed him on the bed and Rick felt like he wouldn't be able to walk down the stairs on his own if needed. 

Negan seemed to guess his thoughts. "Whatever you need, you call me and I'll bring it" he said, but Rick got that he was still very angry with him. 

"Ok..." he mumbled and pulled the covers from under him. Felt very helpless already. Negan found bedsheets for his own "bed" slash couch and left Rick alone with one last glare. 

Walked back downstairs with heavy steps and sat down. Felt guilt filling him up. 

What had he done?


	7. Chapter 7

12 years ago. 

"Let me in, Siddiq! Now!" Michonne raised her voice as Siddiq was standing between her and the door. 

"He is a patient as well! Can't let you harm him!" Siddiq tried to make her think logically. 

Michonne took a deep breath as she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

"Fine. Want five minutes with him. You can interfere after that" she said, although Siddiq wasn't convinced. 

"Ok...but five minutes only" Siddiq agreed reluctantly as he opened the door for her. 

Negan was laying handcuffed at a hospital bed. His throat was wrapped up and his eyes were closed. 

Michonne walked in and stood some steps away from his bed with her arms crossed above her chest. 

"I know that you're awake" she announced. 

"I never said I wasn't" Negan whispered as his throat was messed up. 

"Good" Michonne said coldly "if I could, I would slice your throat open once again for what you did to Rick"

"He can go to hell" Negan said as he opened his eyes. Michonne loomed over him and stared down at him with hatred. 

She gripped his throat and Negan let out whimpers of pain. 

"You are the one who is going somewhere. For the rest of your life. That is a jail cell"

"Let me go" Negan tried to say, but he couldn't defend himself. 

Michonne pressed a bit more and eventually let him go. 

"This isn't a discussion" she snapped at him "I can open up your stitches for a little while, just to remind you..."

Negan swallowed hard at that. Michonne could do to him whatever she wanted. 

"You're gonna rot in that cell, Negan. It's time for that fact to sink in. The days of you being in charge are over. In a week you'll get transferred to your new "home"

"Tell Rick that I'm eager to see him with a crutch" Negan said to her harshly with his rough voice "Wish the healing is long and painful so that he gets reminded every day of what I'm capable of. Will be a pleasure to watch him suffer"

Michonne got her Katana from behind her back when the door opened and Siddiq looked at her with widened eyes. 

"Michonne ,you get out, right now" Siddiq ordered "shouldn't have let you in"

Michonne gave Negan a murderous glare and walked out of the room as Siddiq let out a sigh of relief. 

She walked to Rick's room and heard loud sobbings from outside the door. She hurried in and saw Rick trying to reposition himself, being in tears. 

"Let me!" she said with worry as she ran by his side. She fixed the pillows both behind his back and those that his leg was resting on. 

Rick wiped the tears from his eyes and sighed miserably. 

"It hurts so much..." he sobbed out. 

"I know Rick, I know..." Michonne mumbled as she gave him a hug "hold on though...it will pass, eventually"

Rick let out some sniffles. He was feeling really bad. 

"You went to...see him?" he questioned ,although he wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

Michonne sighed as she sat down on a chair. 

"I did" she admitted. 

"What did he say?" Rick asked with fear in his eyes. 

"Does it matter?" Michonne said instead "He lost. Doesn't matter what he has to say"

"Please, tell me" Rick pleaded her. 

"He said..." Michonne hesitated "...that he wishes you to be in pain and suffer for a very long time"

Rick felt empty inside of him at these words. 

"I understand..." he said, with no emotions in his voice. 

"Forget him, Rick. He is over. What matters is you and to heal soon"

Rick gave her a reluctant nod. 

"Don't bring Judith to see me, ok?" he said "She is way too young to understand and I'm in big pain. Tell her that Dad has to take care of some things and that I love her..."

"Ok, Rick. I promise" Michonne said with understanding "I'll let you rest, will come to see you tomorrow morning and I'll bring you Carol's cookies" she added warmly and gave him a kiss on the forehead. 

Rick tried to smile a bit and bid her goodbye. As soon as the door closed though, his face dropped again and hot tears rolled down his cheeks. 

Looked at his wrapped up leg and thought about Negan's "wish". Maybe he was indeed bound to suffer for a very long time...


	8. Chapter 8

Negan woke up to some metallic sound. He sat up and looked at the kitchen area. Rick was making himself a cup of tea and adding some sugar to it. How the hell had he walked down the stairs?

He hadn't noticed that he was staring at him yet. Rick was looking gloomy, to say the least. Sat down on a chair and looked at the table as he took a sip of his tea. Negan sighed to himself and decided to stand up. They had to talk. 

Rick eye's snapped at him as he walked towards the table. He didn't say good morning or even acknowledge him in any way. Negan made some tea as well and sat opposite from Rick. After some moments of not talking, Negan decided to speak first. 

"You shouldn't walk down the stairs. Could have called me...if you'd falle-"

"I'm not disabled yet, Negan" Rick interrupted "Managed it just fine..."

"What you thought would happen?" Negan questioned as he furrowed his eyebrows "that you'd keep lying to me and I'd be ok with it? The other night at the cabin, I heard you breathing heavily. You need someone to take care of you. Before it's too late. As you said, you're not disabled yet. So, do something about it"

"I've spent too much time laying down. Don't want to go back right now" Rick said decisively "I can take care of myself. You don't have to do anything for me. If what you're afraid of is becoming my nurse or something, don't be. I'm not gonna be a burden to anyone and especially not you"

Negan felt his heart break as he heard these words. Rick thinking of himself as a burden.

"Ok, fine" Negan said "I won't make you go back against your will, but don't think I can stay either. All that, from what I'm getting ,is about not wanting Alexandrians to know about your situation and that it is getting worse. I didn't leave because of a whim though , Rick and if I stay, you'll get reminded everytime you look at me of what happened"

Rick swallowed hard at that. He should have expected it that Negan would want to leave. 

"If you want it, then leave. I thought to offer you a better quality of life. I had no malicious intentions..." Rick said with no emotions in his voice. Felt very empty already. 

"You are the one who doesn't want me either way, it's not only about what I want. I appreciate that you wanted to help me but we should take our own ways. Never been good at tolerating each other's peculiarities..."

Rick took a deep breath. Maybe being alone would be for the best. 

"Yes, you're right. I'm sorry that I got Michonne to follow you. Don't know what I was thinking. We are very different people and as you said, I'm reminded of what you did to me"

"Ok then. I'll take the few things I have and be out of your hair, Rick" Negan said to him, feeling loneliness getting to him once again. 

Rick gave him a nod and they sat in silence to drink their teas. 

Negan gave him a glare when Rick wasn't looking and didn't actually want to leave him all alone. What would he do? Who would be cooking for him? Make sure that he was not pressuring himself in order to survive? 

Rick wanted him to go though and didn't know how to convince him that he gave a damn about him and his health. 

\---

Rick walked down the jail's steps with struggle. It's been a month since his leg got snapped by Negan. A month since he'd not seen him. A month of having to depend on crutches. Wanted to see him though. They had said to him that Negan had been asking for him to come visit. It wasn't only that he didn't want to give Negan the satisfaction of seeing him like that, but he had a fear inside of him. He knew that Negan was locked up for life but was afraid of what the other man would do to him if he ever got out. 

"Well, well..." Negan said with his rough voice. He had been working on getting his normal voice back. "Rick the prick Grimes came to visit. See that you brought your new friends as well" he added in an evil tone, referring to the crutches. 

Rick grabbed a chair that was closest to the wall and sat down. Away enough from the bars. 

"You didn't put me down" he told him coldly "I'm alive, we are growing and you're locked up. Alone and forgotten by everyone"

Negan let out a humorless chuckle as he stood up and walked to the bars. 

"I can see the pain you're feeling ,clear as day. That "crack" your leg made when I broke it, was so damn satisfying" Negan snarled out "it was only fitting. First I broke you down emotionally and then physically"

"How about I do the same to you, huh?" Rick questioned with hatred "Do it right in front of everyone to see. You are my prisoner, still don't get it. This means that you're at my mercy. So watch your mouth"

Negan scoffed at that. 

"We both know that you don't have what it takes to harm me. Need to have dick made of steel and you don't. Have heard Michonne saying again and again that you're building a better future. For who, Rick? Let's see...Carl? Your boy is dead and you're still dreaming of a better world...-"

Rick stood up abruptly while holding the crutch. 

"Shut. Your. Mouth." he ordered as he felt his eyes stinging "you don't speak his name. Never again. Carl wanted you to stay alive but I swear to God that I won't let you say his name again and put dirt on it. Let him rest at last"

Negan gave him an icy glare full of hatred. 

"As I said to Michonne as well, hope you get to suffer as much as possible and when the time comes, I'll find Lucille and bash your head in, like I should have done from the start. Just didn't want to execute a kid's Dad in front of him. Should have done exactly that though"

Rick shook his head as he turned around to leave. 

"If I come to visit again, you're gonna treat me with respect" he announced before leaving "there are worse ways to make someone suffer from what you did to me. Ignoring you is a start. Have a nice day, Negan"

Negan watched him walk up the stairs with the help of the crutches and when the door closed with a loud noise, he laid back to his cot and let himself sob. He was never getting out of there. At least, it seemed that way.


	9. Chapter 9

Negan grabbed his backpack and some food with Rick's permission and turned around to face him. 

"So...I'm going" he said to him. 

"Where are you gonna go?" Rick questioned before he could control himself. 

Negan raised his eyebrow at that. 

"Don't know. Far away from Alexandria though" he said with a shrug. Didn't want anything to do with that place. Not anymore. 

"I understand..." Rick mumbled as he looked down at the floor. 

"Goodbye then, hope you...get better" Negan said to him and meant it. 

Rick gave him a small nod and watched him leave as he walked to his horse and got on. 

Negan gave him one last glare and turned the horse to the opposite direction. 

"Let's go...-" he hadn't thought of a name yet for the horse. He recalled Rick petting it. How gentle he had been... 

As he rode he felt sadness overflowing him. Didn't want to get away from Rick which was very ironic, because he'd spend years wishing he could get away from him. 

Now he wasn't so sure. 

He stopped the horse and got down. Started pacing back and forth as he bit his lip. Had already ridden for an hour but something was dragging him towards Rick and that house. If he left, they would never see each other again. 

Didn't want that, though. Wanted to be there for him. Negan got back on the horse and began riding back to the house. Back to Rick. He knew that over the years he'd said and done horrible things to him but didn't want this to be the end. 

The night had started rolling in by the time he reached Michonne's house. Got down and started walking towards it, when he heard them. Growls. Negan felt his blood running cold. What if...-? No, no, he thought in despair. Followed the sound and saw Rick fallen to the grass, trying to fight off four Walkers. 

"No!" Rick sobbed out as the one got ready to bite him. He couldn't even kick them with his legs. 

Negan ran to him and killed the one closer to him with his knife. When it fell dead, he killed the other three as well with a cold expression on his face. Knelt down to tend to Rick and saw him trembling as tears fell from his eyes. 

"You are ok, you're ok" he tried to comfort him. Saw his crutches fallen some steps away. Rick was clearly in shock. Negan picked him up and got him inside the house. 

He covered him with a blanket and sat down beside him. 

"They are gone, Rick" he said ,as Rick was still very upset "You're safe now"

Rick looked at him with his bright blue eyes that were teared up. 

"What are you doing back here?" he asked. 

"Couldn't leave you and proved right. I'm staying ,either you want to or not" he said with a sore expression as he thought about what could have happened if he hadn't returned.

Rick sobbed again at that and rested his head on his shoulder. 

"Keep me for a bit, please..." Rick begged him "need it so bad..."

Negan wrapped his arm around him. 

"I'm not going anywhere" he replied as he held him there at the couch.


	10. Chapter 10

Rick fell asleep as he was exhausted from what he went through, resting his head on Negan's shoulder as they laid at the couch. Negan wanted to take him to bed , upstairs ,but seeing how tired Rick was, he let him sleep there and laid down right next to him.

Had gone to feed his horse when they attacked him. If he was a little bit more late, they would have bitten him seeing how he couldn't defend himself. Negan sighed as he wrapped his arm around Rick. It had been a big shock for both Rick and him. He would rather kill himself than having to live with the guilts of being responsible for Rick's death or worse ,to become one of these things.

Rick flinched in his sleep and Negan tried to calm him down. He saw the crutches resting against the wall and wished he could take back what he did to him. Wondered how many nights Rick spent crying himself to sleep because of the pain, how he felt when Siddiq said that he might become disabled in a world were even when completely healthy you could die at any moment, not being disabled...

Even if that was what would happen though, he would be there for him. After all that crap he did, he owed Rick that much. Thought of Carl and what he'd say if he saw what he did to his father. He bet that his opinion about keeping him alive, would change.

He looked at the sleeping Rick next to him and held him closer. Felt like if he'd let go that something terrible would happen. Rick needed care and understanding. That's what he'd been asking all along. Even after all that he'd forced him to go through, he didn't lose this energy, this love for life and care for others. 

Once Negan would think that these were laughable qualities but after almost going mad at that cell, he had lost his will to live. Was hanging on from revenge. Rick cared about him even when his community decided to banish him. Should try to be better at last. For his and Rick's sake, if not anything else.

\---

Rick blinked his eyes and smelled something sweet in the air. He was still very shaken from last night. He saw Negan bringing him a dish with pancakes and honey plus a cup of tea. Negan smiled a bit at him and left the dish at the table next to the couch. 

"Good morning" he said "How are you feeling?"

"Shaken ,but fine, other than that..." Rick replied as he covered himself a bit better with the blanket. 

"Brought you breakfast. You need it after what you went through..." Negan explained. Wanted him to be eating well. "Let's fix these pillows so that you can eat..."

Rick nodded and supported himself from his elbow so that Negan could reposition the pillows. He sat up better and Negan gave him the dish. It looked and smelled very appetizing. Rick took a sip from the tea and felt himself releasing some tension that he hadn't even realised he had been holding in. 

Negan sat down at the edge of the couch in case he needed something. Rick ate and it was so good. He enjoyed every bite. The pancakes had the right balance between sweetness and fluffiness. 

Rick looked up and met Negan's eyes. He let out a sigh. 

"Don't know what I'd do if you hadn't showed up and killed them. Turns out...I'm helpless..." Rick said with sadness. 

"Hey" Negan said to him decisively "You're not helpless. Have seen you kill Walkers with ease. Badass is the word, not helpless. I'm the helpless one that found satisfaction in breaking your leg. That I liked you being in pain..." he added bitterly. 

"You were angry, I-" Rick started hesitantly as tears filled his eyes "-I get that. Don't want you to suffer alongside me. If you want to leav-"

"I don't" Negan shook his head in denial "Will stay right here to take care of you. We will get through the crap of the past and you'll see...Things can and will get better" 

"I'm afraid..." Rick sobbed out as he bit his lip in frustration. 

"I won't hurt you in any way, shape or form. Will not let others harm you either, alive or dead ones" Negan promised him "Will do everything in my powers to help you. If you need to cry, you can even do it to my leather jacket , I won't be mad..." he joked a bit to make the atmosphere somewhat lighter. 

Rick let out a small laugh and Negan moved closer to him. He leaned in and he kissed his forehead while closing his eyes filled up with emotions. 

"Eat your breakfast" he said softly "I'm going to make us dinner. Better stay in bed today. You need it after what happened yesterday..." 

Rick nodded as he continued his breakfast. Negan looked at him one more time to make sure that he was as ok as he could be ,given the circumstances ,and stood up to start cooking.

"Negan?" Rick questioned as he was walking away. 

Negan turned back around to look at him. "Yeah?" he asked, as he thought that something happened. 

"Thank you" Rick said and it was the most honest thing he had told to Negan since the first day they met. 

Negan's eyes widened in surprise, but felt much lighter inside of him. 

"You're welcome, Rick" he responded with a sense of relief. 


	11. Chapter 11

Negan spent the whole morning and noon tending to Rick's needs ,despite Rick insisting that he didn't need anything else and that he had done more than enough. They ate together the soup he had cooked and then laid back down next to Rick.

He lost count of how many hours they talked. About what they'd been feeling these past twelve years and even before that. Negan being locked up and Rick being with a broken leg, having to be strong for Judith and the denial to let his friends and family know that he'd been getting worse.

"They care about you Rick. Judith adores you..." Negan said to him ,as he thought about it "don't believe that they would feel for you something else than what they are feeling already. When you love someone, you want to take care of them. It's not pity..."

Rick let out a sigh. "I know, it's just that I don't want to sadden them"

"Maybe you're not ready just yet. Think about it though" Negan suggested. 

"Yeah..." Rick mumbled "I'm glad that you're here...didn't actually want you to leave"

Negan shifted his body to look at him as he held his hand in his. 

"Me too Rick. Looks like I'm stuck with you and for deeper reasons than just the bars of a cell..."

"You're still mine" Rick said to him with roughness in his voice from his emotions "Noone can take you from me"

"All yours" Negan mumbled as he focused on Rick's lips. He wanted to kiss him so bad. Take that pain away from him. 

"Do it" Rick whispered to him,guessing his thoughts. He wanted Negan as much as he did. 

Negan moved himself gently so that he was on top of Rick. His lips were on his in seconds. He kissed him passionately like his life depended on it. 

Rick responded back and his lips explored Negan's. Negan moved to his neck and Rick let out some moans. 

"Negan-" he said ,breathlessly. 

"I'm here, Rick" Negan said to him comfortingly, as he removed his leather jacket. 

Rick moved to grip his grey T-shirt and helped him remove it. Negan got back to kissing him and Rick was a hot mess beneath him. 

Negan moved away from Rick for a bit to help him with his clothes. When they were carefully off Rick he grabbed the waistband of his blue boxers and removed them as well,taking his time. Next ,was his shirt to be unbuttoned. 

Rick felt weird to have his injured leg so exposed but Negan touched him in a very gentle way. He removed his own black jeans, very turned on by Rick being completely naked in front of him. Rick kept staring at him as he finished removing his clothes. 

He helped Rick spread his legs, taking the needed time in order to make sure that he wasn't feeling pain or being uncomfortable. Rick tensed up a bit. Had since before his broken leg to be with someone and that person had been Michonne. It had been a mutual decision to break up and he'd not been with another person since. His legs situation maybe sucked but he was determined to enjoy this. 

"You good?" Negan questioned with worry. 

"Yeah, I'm ok" Rick nodded as Negan had been very careful with him and his pain was numb considering that all his other feelings had been enhanced. Couldn't wait for. Negan to touch him. 

Soon enough, he felt him exploring his entrance and he let out a moan. Negan pressed his finger slowly inside of him and Rick tried hard to stay still, especially when he started moving it inside of him. 

"Negan" Rick cried out with want. 

"Hold on ,Rick" he said to him as he added another finger as well. It felt amazing to Rick. 

"Fuck me" Rick begged him "please-"

Negan kept his fingers inside of him and moved to kiss his lips. 

"I want to prep you" he explained softy "Don't want you to feel pain"

Rick nodded and looked at Negan's cock. 

"May I suck you?" he asked and Negan wasn't one to deny such offers. Especially coming from Rick Grimes himself. 

Negan moved closer to him as he eased his cock to Rick's mouth that he had opened up for him. That warm mouth wrapped around his dick felt like a dream. 

He wanted so much to release himself right now but kept it. Removed himself from Rick's mouth gently. 

"You did amazing" he said to him as he wanted to praise him for doing so good. 

He positioned himself to Rick's entrance and pushed in ,careful to not cause him pain. Rick was tight ,but the feeling was very rewarding. They both groaned as he started moving in and out of him. 

Negan let out a moan of pleasure as his lips were back on Rick's. He tasted like everything they did some moments ago, but he loved it. 

Picked up the pace and Rick was panting beneath him. Negan felt Rick's insides contracting and he was close as well. 

"Cum for me Rick" he said to him and Rick released himself with a moan. Negan cummed as well seconds later inside of Rick. He removed himself and saw Rick being sweaty but gave him a smile. 

"That was great" Rick said, a bit out of breath. 

Negan picked up a tissue to clean him up. 

"It was" he agreed and kissed him. Rick kissed him back and Negan helped him reposition himself in order to be comfortable.

He laid down beside him without putting clothes on and held Rick close to him. 

Rick turned his head to meet his eyes. 

"Never thought that you wanted me that way..." Rick said hesitantly. 

"Have you seen yourself in a mirror , Rick?" Negan asked as he touched his face gently "Must be crazy whoever doesn't want you. Can't believe that you allowed me to have you..."

"I'm all yours" Rick replied as he kissed him again "as you're mine". Now that he got a taste of him, he didn't want to let go. 

"Do you want to go take a shower together?" Negan asked. 

"Sure" Rick said ,as he nodded. 

Negan stood up and picked Rick up so that he wouldn't have to use the crutches to go to the bathroom and struggle. 

"A bath to warm you up first and then sleep" he said to Rick as he smiled at him.

"If you are right there with me..." Rick replied as he looked at his hazel eyes. 

"I will" Negan promised and started walking to the bathroom with Rick in his arms.


	12. Chapter 12

Negan laid Rick to bed upstairs and he kissed him tenderly. Had taken his time to help Rick with bathing and took care of his leg as well. Rick was feeling some pain but he was surprised by how gentle Negan was with him. 

He truly cared about how he was feeling and to not be uncomfortable. The complete opposite of Negan back then who was very harsh both emotionally and physically.

Rick wrapped his arms around his neck as they laid in bed together. It'd gotten pretty late but Rick didn't care. 

"You have me wrapped around your little finger, you know that?" Negan smirked at him. 

"Good, that was my plan..." Rick responded as he kissed his neck. 

Negan let out a sigh. He wanted to stay up all night and make love to him, but Rick needed rest. 

"Alright, time to sleep" he announced and saw Rick pouting. 

"Don't want to..." he said stubbornly. 

Negan let out a soft laugh. 

"Tomorrow is a day too. I'm not going anywhere" Negan replied. He covered them both better to not get cold as they were without clothes on and positioned himself closer to Rick. "Resting is important as well and it's gotten late"

"Thank you for today" Rick said to him "thought that I'd never feel these things again, but I did and it was so good..."

"Same Rick" Negan replied softly "I'm very lucky to have you here and I won't take that for granted. Not anymore"

Rick nodded in agreement. They shouldn't take anything for granted in that world. 

"Sleep now, you prick. Want you looking fresh" Negan joked as he kissed his forehead. 

Rick smirked at him, but wanted to say one more thing. 

"Loved your spaghetti the other day" Rick admitted. Negan felt happiness inside of him. That was a big compliment. 

"I'll make sure to make them for you again, then" Negan smiled at him. 

Rick closed his eyes obediently and fell asleep with a smile on his face as well. Negan felt the warmth that was radiating from Rick and looked at the dark ceiling above their heads. Where would he be without Rick? Most likely at a cold place, all by himself. He wouldn't change that with anything else. Still couldn't believe that they'd done all that with Rick. Felt like a dream, but it was for real. 

Didn't know for how long they could live their dream there-at that house, in the middle of the woods-but he'd do everything he could to keep Rick happy and satisfied. 

He and Rick had been very touch starved all these years and he wanted to get back the lost time for them both. They'd been given a second chance to make their lives better, so they shouldn't waste it with stupid arguments about the past.

Negan let out a sigh and looked at Rick who was deep into sleep already, having a peaceful sleep at last. Negan couldn't wait for tomorrow to come. He closed his eyes as well and felt hopefulness inside of him. 


	13. Chapter 13

Rick woke up to Negan kissing his arm and moving on to the rest of his naked body. He blinked his eyes as a moan escaped him and Negan smirked at his reaction. 

"Good morning" Negan said to him as he got back to what he was doing. 

Rick smiled at him "It is definitely good now"

He relaxed to the bed and Negan continued placing kisses gently but also passionately. Rick looked down at him and it was so hot waking up like that. Negan opened up his legs carefully so that he was spread for him. 

"Someone is turned on already..." Negan said as he inspected him. Rick was turned on and Negan hadn't even touched him yet. 

Negan smirked to himself as he saw how wet Rick was just by kissing him. It felt really good to know that he was responsible for turning him on so much. 

"Bet that you could cum just by talking to you..." Negan said thoughtfully as Rick nodded franctically. Negan let his hand touch between his slit and Rick panted loudly. 

"Please Negan..." he begged him. Wanted him right now. 

"Patience Rick" Negan ordered him as he wanted to take his time with him. Make him cum very hard. "Suck these" he said as he offered him his fingers. 

Rick opened his mouth obediently and started sucking his fingers so sweetly. Negan wanted to be buried deep inside of him right now but should control himself like he had said to Rick as well. 

"So good for me" Negan praised him as Rick used his tongue to lick his fingers and make them wet. 

He removed them from his mouth when he was satisfied and used them to insert Rick who was desperate to be touched. 

"My beautiful man..." Negan mumbled to himself as he watched Rick being filled with his fingers. He was thrusting a lot though. Negan removed his fingers from inside of him and Rick whined at that. 

"What are you doing?" he questioned in frustration as he wanted Negan's fingers back inside of him. 

"Be right back" was the answer he got from Negan as he hurried downstairs. Rick sighed as he wondered why Negan had stopped. 

Soon enough Negan returned with a piece of rope and Rick's eyes widened. 

"You want to tie me up...?" he asked hesitantly. Of course Negan would be into these things. 

"Only if you want to...found it yesterday while cooking..." Negan said as he leaned in to see his face and bit his lip. Wanted to make sure that Rick was relatively ok with it. "The hands only of course" he added to ease his worries about the leg. Wouldn't be causing him discomfort and pain. 

Rick was hesitant to get tied up and give all control to Negan but one look in his eyes was enough to get that he wouldn't harm him. Should have guessed that he liked kinky stuff though... 

"Fine" he said eventually, as he rolled his eyes and Negan smiled at him excitedly. Had thought that Rick would decline after all and he wouldn't do anything against his will. He offered his hands to Negan in order to tie him. 

Didn't tie up too hard but enough to keep him relatively still. Rick was watching him with his intense blue eyes as he secured his hands to the bedpost. Negan saw him swallowing dryly and kissed him to ease his fear of being tied up by him. 

"Want to make you feel good. Do you trust me?" Negan asked as he touched his face gently. 

Rick nodded without a second thought. 

"I do" he replied "...despite you liking having me tied up apparently..." Rick added with a small smirk. 

Negan laughed at that. "I know" he said as he leaned in to kiss him and Rick responded to the kiss. Felt secure at that moment despite the fact that his ex enemy and prisoner had tied him up. There was nothing evil when he looked at his warm hazel eyes though. Only want. 

The same want he was feeling. 


	14. Chapter 14

Negan started with breakfast and let Rick rest after everything he'd done to him before he could even wake up properly. Rick couldn't deny that being tied up had been arousing, although he wasn't necessarily up to be doing it every time, because he bet that they would be getting it on quite a lot with Negan from now and on. 

Negan had been spoiling him as he wanted to do everything himself and him to just stay in bed. He knew that he meant good and he didn't have to pressure his legs almost at all, but he should get up and do some things on his own. First ,he needed to talk to Michonne and Judith though. Make sure that they were ok. 

He got the walkie talkie from his backpack and radioed Michonne. 

"Rick?" she questioned from the other side. 

"It's me" Rick answered with a smile on his face "How are you doing?"

"We are good, Rick" Michonne told him "Judith is going to school, doing her homework...although ,she misses you" she explained. 

"Miss her too..." Rick admitted as he was feeling guilt for staying away from them. 

"Dad!" Judith interrupted at the walkie talkie. 

Rick and Michonne laughed at that. 

"Hey sweetheart" Rick said with a smile. "Hope you're well behaved for aunt Michonne" 

"I am ,Dad" she confirmed "Are you with Negan?" 

Rick let out a sigh. Of course she had found out... 

"I am" he replied "Negan has been misbehaving and am staying with him to...put him on the right track..." Rick said as Negan entered the room with his breakfast and looked amused at Rick's explanation. 

"Tell him that I miss studying with him" Judith said from the other side of the line. 

Negan smirked smugly at that and Rick rolled his eyes. 

"I will ,darling" he promised "be good for Michonne and uncle Daryl, we will see each other again soon enough"

Rick bid them both goodbye, after ensuring Michonne that Negan hadn't harmed him (yet), which made Negan roll his eyes this time and promised that they would be talking again. 

He turned off the walkie talkie and Negan smirked at him as he sat down next to him. 

"Miss studying with me, huh?" he questioned innocently "you hear that, cause you had a fit when you found out I had been helping her..."

Rick let out a snort. "Ok, I admit that I shouldn't have, but she had been doing it in secret. That got me mad more..."

"Sure" Negan replied as he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Eat your omelette, you prick, before it gets cold" he added ,as Rick laughed. 

He handed him his dish and as he leaned in ,he gave him a soft kiss as well. 

"Didn't know I had been misbehaving lately..." Negan said with a smirk. 

"Of course you have" Rick explained as he ate his omelette "just not in the evil kinda way" 

"Hmm" Negan replied and watched him eat his breakfast. 

"You won't eat?" Rick questioned as he looked at him. 

"Ate some while making it" Negan told him "Will go make us dinner in a bit. Spaghetti again" he grinned. 

"Can I help?" Rick asked "I'm tired of staying in bed..." he said with puppy eyes. 

Negan didn't want him to be tiring himself but then again he got Rick's need to be doing things other than getting it on with him. 

"Sure" he said to him and Rick's eyes lit up "Will teach you my super secret Spaghetti recipe, so that will make two of us to know it..." Negan added in a conspiratorial tone. 

Rick laughed at that and he nodded. 

"Promise to keep it a secret then"


	15. UPDATE

Just a quick update that new chapters will come from Monday because my country is in lockdown and will have to do some other things during the weekend. Hope everyone is keeping safe in these difficult times and wish you enjoy the story so far. Think of adding a bigger story to it and not just Negan/Rick in a house together, as I had planned originally, but to make it with action and many more chapters in general. I am reading the comments and feedback is always very appreciating to me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post before Monday after all since I took care of some other things I had. Hope you'll enjoy the continuation of the story.

Rick sat on a chair by the kitchen table to chop some vegetables for Negan's spaghetti sauce. They reminded him of their own garden at Alexandria that had grown so much and found himself feeling emotional. Alexandrians had not gotten rid of that suspicion towards Negan, hence banishing him...

He didn't know what else could Negan do to prove to all of them that he had changed. Wished he could have him to his own house and bed though. Was really dreading the time when he'd have to go back because he and Negan would have to say goodbye. He was barely holding himself to not tear up as he continued chopping since it was the only thing he could do that didn't require standing up. 

He'd thought that Negan was too occupied with boiling spaghetti ,but he had moved closer to him and had seen his sadness. 

"You look like you are cutting onions instead of peppers. .." he commented, as Rick's eyes were watery. 

"What?" Rick questioned as he had spaced out "no, it's nothing...something must have irritated my eyes..." he mumbled as he continued chopping. 

Negan took the knife from him though and held his hand in his. He knelt down so that he could be to the same eye level as Rick. 

"You seriously think that I don't know when you're sad?" Negan asked him "I've seen your whole mood range by now"

Rick sobbed as he hugged him tightly. 

"Don't want you to leave me all alone. Want you to come with me to Alexandria...-" he said with sadness. 

"Rick" Negan interrupted as he held his face gently "can't come back, but that doesn't mean that I don't want you. I want you so so bad. To be with you and Judith...it would be a dream come true. You will not be alone though. Have an amazing daughter and friends that care about you. When the time comes, you'll have to forget me and go home"

"But...-" Rick tried to protest. 

"No "but" Negan said to him as he leaned closer to give him a soft kiss. "You will do it because that's the right thing. Plus, we just got here, if you think about it. We have time together. You're too good for me Ricky...You even let me tie you up to make me satisfied. I don't deserve you...but I have you somehow..."

"I'm not a saint either" Rick shook his head "I'm hiding from the fact that I have a problem to deal with. Yet, you accepted me, despite lying to you. It's not too much to ask to make you satisfied as well. Even if it's tying me up, you weirdo..."

Negan let out a laugh. 

"Let's make that sauce and will take you to bed upstairs after dinner..." Negan said suggestively as he flirted with Rick who smirked back at him. 

"Ok, but not tying me up for the second time in a day..." he said as he bit his lip and Negan rolled his eyes at that. 

"Promise" Negan responded "but after dinner, one should have dessert..."

Rick chuckled softly. "Definitely" he said with a smile. 

He stood up with the help of the crutches and walked towards the hot plates. 

"Show to me how you make that super-secret sauce now" Rick demanded and Negan smiled at him brightly. He loved seeing Rick's blue eyes focused directly on him as he explained how he was making his secret sauce for the spaghetti. 

\---

"That was great" Rick said as he was more than satisfied with the food. Negan's spaghetti was indeed amazing to taste. 

Negan cleaned their dishes with some water and left them to be washed later. 

He walked to Rick and smirked at him. 

"Ready to go to bed?" he asked. Would love some cuddling with Rick after having such a delicious dinner and maybe even more than just cuddling... 

Rick smiled back at him and went to stand up when he felt a sudden pain to his broken leg. 

"Aghhh..." he groaned in pain. 

Negan's face transformed as he got worried. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" he demanded to know. 

"My leg..." Rick mumbled "had a sudden sharp pain..." 

Negan checked his face and it had turned pale. He let out a frustrated sigh at seeing Rick looking like that.

"It's gonna pass soon, I'm sure..." Negan tried to comfort him as Rick was obviously in pain. He gave him a small nod in response. It was hurting a lot.

"Let me take you to bed..." Negan mumbled "Maybe you got tired of standing up before..."

With that he picked him up and got Rick upstairs carefully. He helped him put on warmer clothes and supported his leg with some pillows. He also gave him a painkiller from the ones he'd brought with him.

Helped him lay back down and Rick had teared up. Negan laid down next to him and wrapped his arm around him. Rick hid his face in Negan's neck.

"Shh, shh" Negan said to him "you're gonna be ok" he tried to reassure Rick as he rocked him gently.

"I'm in pain..." Rick sobbed out with hurt in his voice.

"I know Rick...I know" Negan said with regrets "It will pass though. You'll see. Maybe you tired yourself by standing up to show you the sauce. We will be more careful from now and on"

"How more careful to be?" Rick asked with tears rolling down his cheeks "Should I be laying in bed all day?"

"Don't know, Rick" Negan replied as he bit his lip "don't know what to say to you or what's best...I hate seeing you like that though, that's all I know. That damned break..."

"That's only the beginning" Rick said as he took a shaky breath. "Will suffer first until I won't be able to stand up anymore...-"

"Rick" Negan growled "Don't say these things. You most likely just got tired. Will keep standing up because that's what Rick Grimes does. No matter how many times he gets brought down, he stands back up. I won't tolerate anything less from you this time as well, you hear me?"

Rick looked at him with a sore expression. "Don't know if I can..." he said roughly.

"You can and you will" Negan said firmly "but even if the worst scenario happens, I'll ignore the banishment and be there to love you and take care of you" 

Rick rested his head against his and looked at the ceiling as the tears were drying to his cheeks. 

Negan gave him a soft kiss to his teared up cheek and they laid there together, unsure of what the future would bring.


	17. Chapter 17

Negan and Rick laid in bed for hours with Negan's arm wrapped around him. The pain had lessened but it had definitely worried them both as an incident. Despite wanting to pretend that Rick didn't have a problem, what had happened ,was a reminder that he did. 

"What can I do to help you?" Negan asked him as he looked right square in his blue eyes. 

"Nothing ,Negan..." Rick mumbled "just stay here...that's enough"

Negan let out a sigh. "Hate seeing you like that" he said in frustration. 

Rick kissed him softly and looked up at him. 

"I know and don't want you to worry about me. Or feel guilt. You being with me here at these times, means a lot. Don't remember what happened in bitterness because it brought us together"

"Shouldn't have happened though..." Negan said with regrets. 

"It shouldn't but some things are just meant to be" Rick replied with a soreness. "I ruined our plans..."

Negan touched his face gently. 

"This is way better. Don't pressure yourself for my sake. Whenever you feel like it, I'm here"

"Want you right now though" Rick responded. He wanted to distract himself from the pain "Come on, we will be careful"

"Are you sure?" Negan questioned as he bit his lip "Maybe we shouldn'-..."

"It will help me" Rick insisted "you can even tie me up..." he suggested.

Negan shook his head though. He wouldn't be tying him up right now. 

"No tying up in your situation" he said decisively "but since you want to, I'll be very gentle"

Rick's lips were on his immediately and Negan responded to it. He moved to his neck and Rick felt his skin burning up when Negan was kissing him so tenderly. 

Unbuttoned his shirt and placed kisses on his muscled body. Rick looked amazing under him as he was moaning softly. 

Negan saw a scar like from a bullet. 

"How did that happen?" he questioned as he traced it with his finger. 

Rick looked at it and then Negan. 

"Had gotten shot. Just before the Apocalypse started. Woke up in a hospital with no clue of what was going on..."

Negan placed a gentle kiss on his wound. 

"Would want to find the prick who did that to your beautiful body" Negan growled lowly. He was feeling possessive over Rick and wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who laid hands on him. Hell, he even wanted to beat up himself for harming Rick. He didn't put himself out of it since he had done the most damage to him. 

"They are probably gone by now and I belong to you" Rick said as he guessed Negan's thoughts "Only you can have me"

"All mine" Negan agreed and helped Rick get rid of the pants, careful to not cause him more pain. He focused on his boxers and lowered them slowly, exposing his warm skin. 

Rick shivered a bit from the air and Negan grabbed his hips steadily as he lowered his head to suck him off. Was the easiest thing to do right now and Rick needed it. Plus he didn't have the chance to taste him yet. 

Rick gripped the sheets as Negan took him all into his mouth, letting out a loud moan. 

He looked down at him and touched the back of Negan's head. 

Negan kept his eyes on him as he sucked him. He wanted Rick to be satisfied so he tried his best using his tongue as well. 

Rick took a hold of his hair to keep him in place, but not roughly. Negan squirmed a bit but took him in as much as he could. Soon Rick was cumming down and Negan swallowed obediently. He removed his cock from his mouth and Rick was tired but satisfied that he had released some of that pent up tension. 

"Take off all your clothes" he ordered Negan as he was looking at him with want. 

Negan complied and removed his clothes as he stood up. He was very hard already. 

Rick's eyes were on him again.

"Come closer to me and get on your knees. Want you to touch yourself" he said. Wanted to see every inch of Negan exposed. 

Negan did as he was ordered to and got on his knees next to Rick with his legs parted. He touched himself as Rick wanted, while he was watching him. Negan's hazel eyes met Rick's blue ones.

He saw Rick licking one finger and sitting up a bit to insert it in him. This guy would be the death of him... 

Negan averted his eyes but Rick ordered him to keep them focused on him. "Want you to see what I'm doing to you" he said and Negan nodded. He loved submitting to Rick as much as Rick submitting to him. Turns out they were both very possessive of each other. Always had been but he liked being able to give in without fear.

He eased his cock to Rick's mouth as he took him in and he cummed. 

Rick wrapped his arm around him as Negan laid back down, feeling tired from what they'd done. It had turned to night outside and it had started raining hard ,but they hadn't even noticed. 

"I'll warm you up so you can sleep and you'll see, everything will be better tomorrow..." Negan said to him softly and Rick nodded. Was feeling very tired as well. 

Negan switched off the bedside light and wrapped them both better with the bed covers. 

He kissed Rick goodnight and held him there as he fell asleep.

Rick hummed as he blinked his eyes slightly and saw Negan having slept already. He had to be exhausted. Snuggled to him and closed his eyes as well. Loud thunders were heard from outside but Rick had Negan there to protect him and keep him safe. He closed his eyes as well, too tired to stay awake more. If he'd paid closer attention perhaps he would have heard the noise of a helicopter flying in a close distance.

"Here is helicopter number Mil Mi-28" said the pilot to the radio. "Asking for permission to make an emergency landing. The weather won't allow us to be returning today"

"Copied, Mil Mi-28" a female voice answered from the other side of the radio "You have permission to land. If one prisoner escapes, you'll be held accountable though" she warned. 

"Of course ,ma'am. We understand and will keep them in check until we can fly again"

"Good" the voice replied and hang up. 

"Attention!" one soldier shouted to be heard despite the thunders as he looked at the chained up men in the back of the helicopter who had fear in their eyes. He pointed his gun at them. "Behave and we won't throw you off the helicopter. The new world is awaiting you. If you're smart enough..." he added coldly. 

He turned his back on them and his black jacket had three white linked circles to it. The helicopter began losing height as they got ready to land. 


	18. Chapter 18

Negan stretched his arms as he woke up with a yawn. It was still raining hard outside and it had thunders as well. Rick moved beside him as he was waking up as well. 

"Hey" Negan said as Rick looked at him "How are you feeling today?"

"I have a numbness. Not hurting at least..." Rick replied as he massaged it a bit. 

"With that weather I see us staying at bed all day long so you won't have to put pressure on it. Gonna take care of you" Negan said with a smile. 

"You are spoiling me,like severely..." Rick said as he rolled his eyes "but you're so gorgeous that you make me be totally ok with staying in bed with you"

Negan let out a chuckle. 

"Says the one who has these killer blue eyes. They look like you stole the most expensive diamonds or something..." Negan said as he kissed him softly and stared at his eyes lovingly. 

Rick looked back at him and he wanted him so bad once again. 

"You make me want you all the hours of the day..." Rick admitted as he bit his lip. 

"Well the weather is bad outside so we can occupy ourselves right here..." Negan suggested with a smirk. 

"Maybe later..." Rick replied and Negan pouted. Rick kissed him with a laugh. "You're gonna wear me down. We can cuddle if you want though"

"I'm always up for cuddling you" Negan said happily as he gave him a soft kiss before laying back down and wrapped Rick up. "You're the cutest, you know that?"

Rick blushed at that. "So ,I'm not grumpy...?" he asked as he raised his eyebrow. 

"Nah, you're a cutie and all mine" Negan replied with a soft laugh. 

"I am" Rick promised and he bit his lip for a bit with hesitation. 

"What...?" Negan questioned as he saw it. 

"I know that you may find it rushed, but...I...well...I love you" Rick admitted, although he was afraid of how Negan would take it. He had been his prisoner after all for so many years and their past was complicated...to say the least. 

Negan's eyes widened and he squeezed Rick into a hug. Tears filled up his eyes. 

"That...- it means a lot to me Rick. Love you too, you prick. Will always be a "pain in the butt", but you're my "pain" Negan said emotionally. "Don't know how I'll ever let you go..." he sobbed out. 

Rick sighed as he rested his head against Negan's. 

"Will tell Michonne to allow you to stay here and I'll seperate my time between Alexandria and being with you" Rick said as he couldn't find a better solution. Of course he had to be with Judith as well. 

"She doesn't like me either though...blames me for what I did to you and rightfully so...not to mention if she finds out about this "development" in our relationship..." Negan mumbled with sadness. 

"Hey" Rick said decisively "not gonna let you get away from me that easily. We belong together. I'm sure she won't have a problem to let you stay. That way we will be together as much as possible. Plus I don't need anyone's permission to be with you"

"We'll see, Ricky..." Negan said softly as he gave him a kiss. He hated the idea of Rick being separated from him."What matters is to not be pressuring yourself first and foremost. To get rid of that suffering... The rest will follow" 

"Yeah..." Rick let out a sigh as he looked outside of the bedroom's window. The sky had very dark clouds and several lightnings could be seen. 

"I should go make us breakfast" Negan announced and it was Rick's turn to pout. 

"Stay here..." he said stubbornly "I'm scared of the lightnings..."

Negan rolled his eyes at that. 

"Doubt it, but fine...Will go in a while. You're not skipping breakfast though"

"Alright" Rick agreed with a smile. Negan was very protective of him and he got mad if he saw him not taking care of himself properly, like skipping breakfast. 

"Will go to take care of the horses as well. They are protected from the weather but need caring as well"

"Have you decided how you'll name your horse?" Rick questioned. He knew that Negan had not given him a name yet.

"Erm had something in mind, but don't know if you'll like it..." he said hesitantly. 

"Why?" Rick questioned,confused "Don't tell me that you're gonna call it "prick" ,please..."

"No it's not that" Negan interrupted "Was thinking of naming him, ermm...Carl"

Rick got silent at that and Negan was anxious that he'd made him mad. Carl had been a forbidden topic when he was locked up. Rick didn't want him to be saying anything about his dead son. Maybe Rick got angry that he wanted to name a horse after his kid that had been bitten... 

"Forget it, ok?" Negan pleaded as he felt bad "I'm gonna shut my mouth. Will name him something horse like..."

"No" Rick interfered with roughness in his voice "Carl would be perfect. He'd have liked it as well ,I believe..."

"Are you sure...?" Negan questioned hesitantly "I know that I'm not allowed to bring up Carl..."

A tear dropped from Rick's eye. 

"Want to talk about him...It wasn't your fault that he died, nor mine. I've been bitter when you were talking about him when in jail. I need to think of him and keep my kid in my memories..."

"Ok Rick" Negan said as he wanted to comfort him "of course we can talk. I know I did many crap to both of you, but I-...really liked the kid...you have to trust me. That's why I want to name the horse after him. Want to keep him alive somehow as well..."

"You should then" Rick said to him "so ,Carl it is"

"Carl" Negan agreed as he gave Rick a hug to comfort him. "Do you want me to tell you of when he came to the Sanctuary and machine gunned my men?" he asked with a small smirk. 

"I do" Rick nodded, as he was feeling emotional. Negan sat up a bit as he wrapped his arm around him and Rick laid his head on his shoulder. He wanted to hear about Carl right now so much. 

"He sneaked in using a supplies truck..." Negan started as he recalled that day. He knew that Rick wouldn't like several things, like making his son remove his eye cover or singing for him "you're my sunshine",but he wanted to share these things with Carl's father and now the most important person in his life.


	19. Chapter 19

"Hey buddy" Negan said as he smiled to his horse and petted it. "Carl will be your name, hope you'll like it". Rick's horse let out a whinny. He laughed at that and petted her as well. " Hi to you too, Sierra" he added. 

"Food time" he announced and added hay in front of them so they could eat. Thankfully Michonne had thought of everything and the horses were protected from the bad weather. 

Negan stayed with them for a while as he watched them eating. He petted his own again. Carl. Now, he'd have a name to call him. They would be resting a lot though since he knew that he wouldn't let Rick ride in his condition and he wouldn't either. If something was needed you'd use the car, but they were both great horses. They could just take care of them, him and Rick. Didn't have to ride.

He bid them goodbye and walked back to the house in a hurry to not get very wet. Rick was at the couch, as he'd carried him downstairs and was reading a book. Negan grabbed a towel to dry his hair and started with dinner. He'd be making them a soup as it was great for the rainy weather. It reminded Negan of when he was at that abandoned cabin and water was dripping from the roof. Now the weather was way worse. Didn't know what he'd do if Rick hadn't showed up to save him. 

Looked at him from behind the kitchen's counter and he smiled to himself. He was covered up with a blanket and focused on a book as Michonne had a lot around the house. Rick looked really cute like that, but then again he was always just adorable.

Would have never thought when he was locked up that they would be staying together at a house and have such domestic moments. He loved it though and wouldn't change a thing. Getting together might was delayed for so many years, but it was worth it. There were still dark parts like Rick's injury and having to return to Alexandria, eventually, but other than that his life had never been more complete than right now. 

Rick saw him staring and smiled back at him from the couch. Negan left what he was doing and walked to him. 

"Would you like another blanket?" he asked as he wanted him to be warm. 

Rick thought about it and truth be told it had some chill. "Ok" he said in agreement

Negan brought him one more and covered him gently. "There you go" he told him with a smirk "you look like a burrito" Negan added as he sat down and wrapped his arm around him on top of the blankets. 

Rick left the book to the side and rolled his eyes. 

"First time someone is calling me a burrito but I appreciate it..." he said with a smile. 

"I love giving you nicknames" Negan hummed. 

Rick rested his head on his shoulder. 

"It's better than "prick" he commented. 

Negan pouted a bit. 

"Hey, prick is your second name in my mind..." he mumbled. 

Rick chuckled at that. 

"Ok then, won't ruin it for you" he said sweetly. 

A loud thunder was heard outside and Rick snuggled closer to him. 

"You're so warm and fluffy..." Rick drawled thoughtfully. He loved cuddling with Negan. 

Negan tightened his grip around Rick and rubbed his hand up and down his arm in order to warm him up. 

"After dinner we are gonna cuddle as much as you want. It's cuddling day since it sucks from a weather point of view" Negan grinned down at him. 

Rick hugged him back as he thought about how great he was feeling being like that with Negan. 

"Have to go continue dinner..." Negan said after a while with some sadness that you'd be leaving Rick. 

Rick pouted as well as he gave him a kiss. 

"I appreciate it a lot that you do so many things for me" Rick told him honestly,because he really did. 

"It's my pleasure Rick" Negan replied with a small smile "you stay here in the warmth and I'm going to continue. It will warm us up" he kissed Rick once again and stood up as he made sure to reposition the covers for him so that he was bundled up. 

Rick watched him walking away and smiled to Negan. Couldn't wait to lay down with him and cuddle as much as possible. 

\---  
"Hmm target to H4" Rick said thoughtfully. 

"You sank it" Negan pouted a bit but Rick's smile when he won, was enough for him. After dinner he'd discovered that the house had the game "Battleship" and they'd been playing since then. Rick was winning up to this point but he didn't care anymore about losing. Plus seeing Rick's happiness was making him feel a warmth spreading inside of him. 

"Up for another round?" Rick asked as he raised his eyebrow. 

"You are gonna win again, I'm sure..." Negan rolled his eyes dramatically "How about we do something were we both will win something...?" he asked suggestively. 

Rick hummed in agreement as he put the game to the side and kissed Negan's lips. Negan laid him gently to bed and kissed him back. Didn't think that he'd ever get tired of this. 

He took off their clothes and Rick looked up at him. 

"Are you ready?" Negan questioned softly. 

"I am" Rick nodded as he kissed him once more. 

Always and forever. 

\---

CRM's soldiers were sitting under some trees as the rain continued falling. They had lit up a fire but their black outfits were warm enough either way. The helicopter was some meters away with the prisoners inside. Amongst them was a boy ,only sixteen years old. They had torn him apart from his family by kidnapping him. He didn't even know what the hell they wanted from them. Kept messing with the chains as the night had rolled in and managed to release himself. He let them drop to the helicopter's floor and the others looked at him with widened eyes as he stood up. 

"Sit back down!" one said urgently "They are gonna kill you!"

"I'm outta here" he replied instead "you stay and become their slaves. I'm not up to it"

With that he ignored their protests and got out. CRM soldiers though were not ordinary people. They were known for their ability to notice things faster than other people. 

One stood up and yelled at the boy. 

"You!" he ordered as he grabbed his gun "Hands up and surrender! Now!"

The young man refused to though and started running. 

"You two stay with the rest of the prisoners" the soldier ordered as he and another one ran after him in the rain. 

They had to catch him again and put him in the helicopter or they would get punished when they returned to the base. 


	20. Chapter 20

Negan sighed as he looked outside of the window. It was still raining pretty hard although it had gotten dark outside. He sat back down to bed and Rick snuggled to him. Couldn't get enough of him and Negan of Rick. 

"Are you ok?" Negan questioned as he looked down at Rick's eyes. 

"Now that you're here, I am" Rick replied softly. 

"I mean...are your legs a bit better?" Negan clarified his question. Rick averted his eyes though. 

"I am not in pain...but only because you've made me stay in bed" Rick drawled and it was the truth. Almost all of his time he'd spent it laying down.

"Look..." Negan said hesitantly "not gonna pressure you. You know best for yourself. Won't be telling to you to stay in bed or not, but if it makes you feel better, you should consider it. Can make you a wheelchair after all, so many trees it has around. That way you will be able to stand up as well from time to time and not feel much pain"

"I'm helpless either way" Rick replied and he was on the verge of tearing up. "Come on Negan. Who are we fooling? I'm a liability. You saw it with the Walkers as well. If anything happens I won't be able to defend myself, you're gonna risk yourself for me and so on..."

Negan moved himself that he was looking down at him and he was feeling annoyance at Rick's words. 

"Why are you doing that to yourself? Are you a masochist or something, Rick? Getting off by humiliating and making yourself lesser?" he demanded to know. 

"Only the strong survive in this world. You should know that. It's not about making myself lesser. I am a liability either you like it or not. Only if I stay indoors for the rest of my life I might won't be a problem to anyone" Rick replied bitterly. "I wasn't made to last as a leader..."

Negan frowned at that. 

"You seriously think that the other pricks are better than you?" Negan asked in anger. 

"Maybe they are. At least they're not with risk to never walk again, like I am. What have I done to help you Negan? Absolutely nothing. You do everything. Even having sex properly can't happen...-"

"Rick!" Negan had a full blow out "stop it" he ordered. "This talk has gotten out of hand. Close your eyes and we will discuss the situation with clear heads. As for the sex part, you're not my toy. I love you and have feelings for you. This means understanding that I did something shitty to you so many years ago and you still suffer from it. The least I care about is "satisfying myself". I will take you to Alexandria immediately if I hear these things again"

"It's the truth and you know it" Rick said grumpily. 

Negan took a deep breath to control his anger at what he was hearing. 

"Close your eyes to rest... Please. Can't talk right now, don't you see it?" he pleaded him. 

"Fine" Rick said as he had gotten moody. 

Negan walked to his side of bed and knelt down to look at him. 

"Don't get angry...all that I'm saying is because I don't want to see you being in pain again"

Rick held the covers tighter and felt his eyes stinging. 

Negan leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. 

"I love you a lot" he said to Rick as he stood up. "You should keep that in mind..."

Rick stayed silent and Negan didn't pressure him more. He knew that this was Rick's sadness talking and not him. 

Rick Grimes never gave up like he was doing right now.


	21. Chapter 21

Rick stayed awake for hours as he couldn't sleep. Negan had wrapped his arm around him but he had turned his back on him. Felt like he didn't deserve Negan's comfort and love. He had been lying to him and pretending. He bit his lip in frustration and hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

Felt like he was alone in this despite Negan insisting that he wasn't. Wanted to give him so many things, but he didn't think that he would ever manage it. He shifted his body and looked at the other man who tightened his grip when he felt him closer. Rick took a deep breath. He had to be brave. For his sake and Negan's. Rested his head against his head and fell asleep as well. 

He woke up again early in the morning. Negan was still sleeping beside him and he looked calm like that. Rick leaned in as he gave him a kiss. Hated arguing with him. Wanted them to have a good relationship at last. Had gotten tired of threats and talking bad to each other. 

Would try to make it up to him when he woke up. It had finally stopped raining outside. Rick decided to walk downstairs. He really needed some fresh air after being indoors for so long. Walking down the stairs was not easy but he managed it with some heavy breaths. He walked outside with the help of the crutches and felt the soft wind to his face. It was very peaceful. 

Suddenly he heard some noises like someone was running. What the hell was that? Maybe he should get back inside...His eyes widened as he saw a young blonde boy running towards their house in a panic. His clothes were soaked and he looked scared. Their eyes met and the boy ran to him. 

"Who are...-" Rick started asking but he was interrupted. 

"They are coming. Don't let them catch me again" the boy sobbed. 

"Catch you?!" Rick demanded as he eyed the boys distress. He couldn't be much older than Carl. Even the same age. 

"Please sir-" the boy begged "don't want to be imprisoned"

Rick felt his blood running cold. Who was imprisoning people? Before he could think about it, he saw them. Two men dressed in black military uniforms and they had big guns. They started shooting at them. 

"Get down!" Rick yelled as they fell to the ground in an attempt to protect themselves. He sobbed out from the pain but staying alive was more important right now. 

The men ran towards them and Rick stood up with struggle as he grabbed the boy from the arm. He pulled him to the house by the wrist and closed the door behind them before they started shooting at it. 

"Negan!" Rick shouted as they shot the door. They were most likely gonna be executed. 

The door opened and the two men walked in while pointing their guns at them. 

"You are under arrest" the one said coldly. 

The boy jumped to attack him and he got shot to the stomach. Rick's eyes widened as he saw the young man falling dead and bleeding out at their floor. He didn't know if it was the adrenaline from his shock but he stood up and grabbed the gun from the other soldier before he could react and shot him dead. Went to attack the one that had killed the boy as well when he punched him hard and Rick fell to the floor in pain. 

Negan ran down the stairs as fast as he could as he had heard the gunshots and woke up. Wished that it wasn't too late. He took in the horrifying scene and the soldier pointed his gun at him. Rick wasn't able to even stand up anymore from the pain he was feeling. 

"If you make a single move you're both dead" he ordered them "one of us is killed and a prisoner as well. You're gonna take the kid's place and pay for your crime"


	22. Discontinuation of the story

Don't know if the story will continue since I don't see a particular interest in it and don't think there is a point in writing more. I've enjoyed writing it, but maybe it should just end here. Thanks to anyone who has read though


End file.
